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It’s 6AM….I wake up go to get dressed.
I put on my cycling kit, most of this is a size “Large”
I get to work & get changed
I put on “Medium” Boxers, 34″ Pants and 16″ Shirts.
Yet every day , wearing clothes with those sizes I feel I am on borrowed time, I feel that, any second now, the world will come crumbling down around me and before I know it I will be back in 8XL.
I cant explain why , In all of my adult life, I have never worn clothes so small, I am lov’in it, every second of it but I am scared, scared to death it’s all gonna come crumbling down around my ears any second.
I’m not even sure why I am posting this, or what it will achieve, but I just feel I need to put it down, in writing, so that I can analysis it and deal with it, its what’s worked upto now, so why not.
In Other News, I found a picture from work, its a before picture that has never been seen before, I was APPROX 28 Stone here.Just looking at it makes me feel SICK……
This is how I look at work these days.
& in other news I am shocked I am still alive, NO I didnt crash my bike I looked at some old data from Garmin, OMG how unfit was I just last year ?
AVERAGE Heart Rate 107%
and that was over a SHORT 6 mile ride. Where I struggled to average over 10Mph
Now fast forward to this week:
Distance is almost DOUBLE
Average speed is over 16 MPH
Max HR 91%
I think this data is more damming proof than the pictures of how ill I was but also how far I have come.